Collaborative Divorce – Making the Holidays Easier for Everyone

Posted by Michael HillerNov 01, 20170 Comments

Collaborative Divorce is an excellent option for managing the holiday season.

With the help of a couple of professional lawyers, a mental health professional, and a financial advisor to guide you through the divorce process. The Collaborative Divorce process is a time in which you both can be civil for a couple hours at a time. Most importantly, your children will likely be better off down the road with that process for managing your divorce.

An important reminder in any divorce with children is that you both will have to be parents to your children for the years to come. The holidays will be an important part of that and cannot be avoided.

One of my clients and his wife are essentially sharing their house right now. They do four nights in, four nights out. He goes to stay at a friend's house. He comes back in the house for four nights, and vice versa. They're in the middle of a divorce and they have a six year old son.

His wife recently found out the place she was staying during her four days out was going to be unavailable over the holidays and that they would have to stay together in the during that time. My client was initially concerned if that situation would confuse their son. But it should not be an issue if they plan ahead. They will set boundaries, but try to spend some time together. At the very least, they will be civil for their son. The holidays are a short, but important time. It is possible to be civil for their child's sake for a short time period.

If you find yourself needing to navigate the Holidays in the middle of or after a divorce, here are some tips: Clearly establish your boundaries. Try to get along and spend a little time together. Sit through a Christmas dinner. Open up the presents together, if possible. If you can't, at least be civil toward each other.

Because that is the goal: you are both still and always will be  parents of these children. You are not divorcing the child. Being civil, at least for the children's sake, is the most important thing to keep in mind and the collaborative divorce process helps to show divorcing parents how to be civil.